I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
