what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
