Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
