Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize