I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
