look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
