I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
