I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
