i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
