this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
