I'm going to jail i love you
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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