I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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