I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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