You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
