why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
