love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
