i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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