I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
