yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
