do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
