all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
