She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
