Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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