so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
