closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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