nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
