butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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