i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
