See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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