found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
