just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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