is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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