he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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