i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
