god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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