There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
