I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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