Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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