he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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