I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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