i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
