Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
