dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The air taste purple.
Randomize
