Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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