So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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