I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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