how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
