Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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