Sacagawea was the original milf.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just found puke in my bra..
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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