More tranny stories later!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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