3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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