Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
