Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
