quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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