Me. At least after what I've been through.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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