maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
