Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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