Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
