i will never coherently bang her
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
