Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
