wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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