I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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