found the other keg... it's in the tree
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
