I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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